Faithful chaste gay Christians who believe in sexual fidelity to Christ have a uniquely hard obedience to bear. That fidelity requires living with a strong dissonance in one’s instincts. Tragically, so many Christians resolve that gnawing dissonance by deceiving themselves and changing their convictions about what sexual fidelity to Christ means.
The toughest thing about experiencing homoerotic affections and homosexual desires is they generally work perfectly well in the one who experiences them, but they’re set upon an inappropriate and illegitimate object. That’s what it means for them to be objectively disordered. It’s deeply frustrating, because on the one hand, those affections and desires are functioning correctly with all the potency and possibility for joy and heartache which they ought to have. And on the other hand, those affections and desires are seeking what they want where it can never properly and permissibly be found and realized.
Some people cringe at calling these affections and desires that they experience objectively disordered. That’s understandable. I don’t cringe any more. When understood as I’ve said above, I find it to be a bit of a relief. It turns out these affections and desires aren’t totally broken. It turns out that they actually work correctly in some sense.